I had never experienced abuse prior to meeting my husband, Caleb, in October of 2019. Caleb was a member of a religious organization called Independent Fundamental Baptist or IFB. This encompasses a wide spread network of churches and schools and has associations and similarities to the Institute for Basic Life Principles or IBLP. A great many stories of abuse have come forward from these organizations and so many people carry deep wounds and scars that will last a lifetime from what they have suffered. My story is unique because unlike most victims of this religious group, I didn’t grow up in the IFB. I married into it, unaware and unprepared for what I was encountering.

The abusers that have hurt myself and the many others all have one thing in common. They were all following leaders who were deceived into believing they were spiritually enlightened, perhaps even superior, when in actuality they were living in spiritual darkness. I am sharing my story to shed the light of truth to those who are waking up in darkness, to reach out a hand to those who are drowning in confusion, shame and fear and to offer a glimpse at the beautiful and kind Savior that I know.

All the human characters in my story are both hero and villain, so I don’t share my story to spread shame or to lash out at those who hurt me, because so many times I have been the one to cause hurt. There is only one hero and that is God and there is only one villain and he is Satan.

In Luke 23:34, we see the Hero’s response to humanity. Jesus has been humiliated, mocked, beat beyond recognition and then nailed to a cross. He has experience severe abuse that will ultimately take his life in an unimaginably painful climax. Yet in the midst of an act of such tremendous abuse, Jesus says these words, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” What an incredulous things to say! He has the ability to bring them pain, suffering, humiliation and death with nothing more than a word, and they are deserving of that and more! But even in this most cruel execution, the heart of Jesus remains tender towards the spiritually blind and He pleads for mercy!

Satan is the evil deceiver and manipulator of mankind, the villain. He lashes out against God by destroying the men and women God created and loves. He delights in leading them into false religion and depriving them of true joy and fulfillment in Jesus. He is the real enemy. Jesus offers love, mercy and sight to the blind, not so it can be wielded as a weapon against those who are still in the darkness, but to reveal the enemy and expose his evil deeds. Ephesians 5:11 says, Take no part in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”

I hope and pray that in this book, you will see the enemy behind the curtain, leading his victims deeper into darkness. Above all, I hope you will see the triumphant Savior, eager to love, forgive and heal!