What is spiritual abuse? Spiritual abuse is not spiritual. Spiritual abuse comes from those who believe themselves to be spiritual, discerning and in possession of superior insight from God, but are in actuality, deceived and spiritually blind. We understand that physical abuse must, by definition, come from someone using physicality to abuse another and sexual abuse must come from someone using sexuality to abuse another. By the same understanding, spiritual abuse must come from someone using spirituality to abuse another. However, the conflict in that definition is that “spirituality” and “abuse” are not compatible, at least not if the “spirit” referred to is the spirit of the true God. The Spirit of God cannot be abusive, so by extension, the Spirit of God will certainly not lead a follower to abuse another.
The entire message of the gospel is that the sacrificial Savior came to endure horrific abuse to protect His beloved from eternal punishment. From beginning to end, the Bible tells the story of depraved humans, unworthy of a rescue and unable to earn favor from God. God, Himself, sends Jesus to rescue, heal and bring the hopelessly dead to life. Jesus is the protector and His ultimate act of protection is to stand in the place of sinners and bear the abuse they deserve. Jesus is the opposite of an abuser. Hear His words about Himself:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30
On the contrary, Matthew 23:4 says this of spiritual abusers,
They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
Even more telling is that Jesus’ followers, those who have responded to this gentle and humble Rescuer, so love their leader, that they would willingly suffer pain and hardship out of their deep gratitude and loyalty to Him. They are driven by an all-consuming desire to draw closer to their Savior, know Him more and be more like Him. They have found in Him something so precious and so life-giving that they long for others to share in their joy.
Repeatedly in the Bible, Jesus demonstrates his hatred of spiritual abuse. Matthew 23 is one of many places where Jesus is outspoken against the Pharisees, who were the spiritual abusers of His day. These men were the perceived spiritual elite. They were esteemed religious leaders, who demonstrated their superiority by imposing extra rules on top of the Law given to Moses by God. But Jesus’ words tell us in no uncertain terms, that they are not spiritual at all. Here is what he said to them:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much a child of hell as you are.” Matthew 23:13-14
It is hard to misunderstand Jesus’ position. Throughout chapter 23, He calls the Pharisees out on a litany of spiritual abuses, proceeding each one with “Woe to you” and calling them “hypocrites”, “blind guides”, “blind fools” and later in the chapter, “snakes” and “brood of vipers”. Surely the strongest rebuke is when He calls them “children of hell.” Again, in verse 33, He says,
How will you escape being condemned to hell?
Jesus’ rebuke reveals that not only does He not see them as spiritual, but He also sees them as His adversaries! By calling them “children of hell”, He clearly indicates where they are headed. The “father” of hell is Satan. Their pious form of superior spirituality was publicly rejected and re-branded as satanic! They were exposed to be followers of the enemy, who were taking prisoners. Jesus made it black and white when He said:
Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me, scatters.
Luke 11:23
Jesus used strong words to identify these religious leaders as impostors so His disciples would recognize false teachers. It is much easier to recognize those who out-rightly reject the Bible as truth or reject God as the sovereign Creator, than it is to recognize those who masquerade as Christ-followers, mixing lies with truth. Because the words these false teachers say sound so close to truth, the Bible gives us so much teaching on how to discern false teachers from true followers of Christ. Not many today have the courage to boldly call out these traitors of the faith. They are more concerned with offending people than they are with offending God. Art Azurda said,
Awkwardness not withstanding, I dare never become more politically correct than Jesus. The parameters of my inclusivity are determined by Him.”
Jesus’ position was not popular then and it certainly wouldn’t be now in our ever-increasing age of tolerance. He didn’t suggest that these Pharisees might just be Christ-followers with some bad theology or sigh at their self-imposed high standards. Oh no! He refused to soften His position to protect His public image or chose His words delicately to avoid offending abusers. His love for humanity would not allow Him to stay silent about the dangers of spiritual abuse.
CS Lewis said,
There is no neutral ground in the universe. Every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God, and counter-claimed by Satan.
Those who practice spiritual abuse and manipulation are quite plainly not Christ-followers. The spiritual aspect of their abuse is not a connection to the spirit of the true God, but rather a connection to the spirit of Satan. Satan loves abuse, he loves to inflict confusion, pain, betrayal and heartache. Many times throughout the Bible, we are warned about this powerful enemy. 1 Peter 5:8 says,
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
God is the only one worthy or wise enough to teach us how to live. He is the only one who so loathes abuse that He would voluntarily heap it upon Himself, rather than to allow His guilty Bride to suffer. In the Bible, we have a complete manual for life. In those pages, we find everything we need to know to guide us in every situation. God has not left open pages for man to fill. He has not communicated inadequately, so we must rely on others to expand upon it. It is not pages of trickery, with hidden meanings that can only be seen by those with religious titles. It requires no addendum and no updates. It is everything God wanted to say, and it is complete and without error.
When a religious leader attaches a set of rules to a biblical principle and presents his rules as God’s, he is reflecting one of two things. Either he doesn’t believe God’s Word is sufficient or he doesn’t believe the Holy Spirit is capable of giving wisdom to the believer. In one situation, he is attempting to be a mouthpiece for God and in the other a mouthpiece for the Holy Spirit. Either way, he has elevated himself to the level of God, much like Satan did, (Isaiah 14:12-15) and in doing so he has made a congregation of idolaters-following the created instead of the Creator (Romans 1:25).
Spiritual abusers covet God’s power and glory, and they want to take some for themselves. The God of the Bible is worthy of honor, praise, love, adoration and worship. His wisdom and love have earned the willing submission and obedience of His followers. Many men have followed in Satan’s footsteps and wanted a taste of God’s glory and they have taken His perfect and complete Word and arrogantly believed they can improve upon it, make it suit their own desires and gather their own band of followers, who worship them and submit to their authority. In reality, they are inadequate, and they cannot gain recognition, credibility and control for themselves without the promotion of a counterfeit gospel-tucking in lies with truth till they all look the same.
Spiritual abuse is an insidious evil and it is not a reflection of true spirituality. True spirituality surrenders itself to a sovereign God and refuses to steal the glory He is due. True spirituality cannot stand by while God’s name is profaned, and His words are twisted into weapons of manipulation. True spirituality will always stand boldly against the evil one and eagerly refute his lies.
We destroy every argument and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:15
